027 [Voice]

[wingsandwill]

[He's quiet for a moment, just dead air until he speaks, voice quiet and carefully neutral.]

My sister, Anna, has returned home.

[To be imprisoned, go insane, and be killed. She's one of those that, for her, being here was better than being at home.

Two friends in two days; it isn't the worst anyone's dealt with by any means, but it still hurts. And Anna... Anna, one of the few siblings he loved, he would never see again. And she left here hating him.

Notification done, he just turns off the feed with no additional comment.]

Comments

[Voice // Private // Unhackable]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

...damn. [Dean just puts his fist against the wall. Frustrated. That's two people important to him in one blow. He doesn't speak at first but when he does, it's quieter than before.]

I'm coming over. Or you can come over here.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

I'll go there, but it will be a few hours.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

I'll be here. [Sitting on the couch at Jo's house. Because he hasn't left since he crashed her earlier.]

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

[Castiel can join Dean in the drained and unhappy corner. He answers the door and lets the angel in with a tired sigh.]

This place really likes to stick it to people doesn't it?

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

The timing was unfortunate.

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

The timing was a dick.

[He shuts the door and makes his way back to the couch, motioning for Castiel come sit if he wanted to.]

Did we ever run out of booze? I don't remember. [ie, you need a drink and he'd join you for it.]

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[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

There might be some remaining.

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[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

[He pushes himself up and looks around for the remaining bottles. The Winchester therapy of choice has always been violence and alcohol when they couldn't step up to sacrifice themselves for each other. Castiel was certainly part of the family enough to start that unhealthy habit.]

Then we're having the rest today.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Alright.

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

[The recent losses make Dean's alcohol issues really, really bad. In a place that won't let it be kept for long. He locates the bottle, takes a swig and offers it to Castiel.]

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[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

It's my fault she was killed.

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

...she said to ask you why the goons in heaven got to her. [He says very carefully but at the same time he sounds tired. There was a lot he knew the pieces of but not the full picture.] But you didn't put a gun to her head and said go back and try to kill John and Mary Winchester.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

I had a chance to warn her that they would come.



I chose to protect myself instead of her.

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

[Dean doesn’t say anything for a long time. Instead he takes a long drink from the bottle and passes it back.]

Remember when you and Uriel told me to hand her over? We went into hiding after that. He came to me in my dreams. He gave me a choice.

Her or me. I told him ‘fine, take me back’. ...so he threatened Sam.

[And that’s when the choice had been made for him even though he wanted so badly to keep her safe too.]

There are times we're told to make choices and we don't always have options to make the ones we want to. Or we're scared to make them.

You were tortured, Cas. And while it wasn't right to turn her in, what's done is done.

Neither of you should have been put on the rack. And if I knew then what I know these days? I'd... [Not been able to do a damn thing.]

I'd have done something.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Dean...

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[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

We can't change what's been. I learned that. We have to move forward. We accept we've made mistakes, and we accept how we thought at the time. But, if we focus on the would haves, the could haves, the should haves...that's nothing we do anything about.

[Dean looks at Castiel seriously. Yes, Cas had been a victim but the choice wasn't an easy one. Nor was it right. But, that was the past and they couldn't fix that. They couldn't bring Mary Winchester back or John or anyone that had died. Placing blame only would slow them down when they had to find ways to save and protect the world.

As well as to handle and deal with things themselves. As Dean takes the bottle for his drink, he continues.]

This is where we can do something. Right here. We make that block number one and go from there.

Re: [Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Presumably we can do so by drinking.

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

Trust me, Cas. That's an on-going thing.

[He takes another swig off the bottle and passes it back. Dean truly does have a drinking problem when he's under stress and pressure.]

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

We're going to need to locate more alcohol.

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[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

[Before Sam left, Dean had his drinking problem well under the way towards recovery to a mild thing he did sometimes. Now it's full blown and he gets up to hunt for another bottle.] Yeah. Because one isn't going to cut it.

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[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

[It's really better not to think like that. Even though Dean is thinking the exact same thing all the time. He locates more booze and brings it over. They'll go through it fast enough.]

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Are you staying with Jo permanently now?

[Offline]

[fairymicrowaver.livejournal.com]

Hm? No, we're going to locate a place and build a safehouse like Bobby's house. Place where we can fall back to if anything goes wrong, train you, and have a panic room just in case. [Alcohol now. That sounds like such a good idea.]