027 [Voice]

[wingsandwill]

[He's quiet for a moment, just dead air until he speaks, voice quiet and carefully neutral.]

My sister, Anna, has returned home.

[To be imprisoned, go insane, and be killed. She's one of those that, for her, being here was better than being at home.

Two friends in two days; it isn't the worst anyone's dealt with by any means, but it still hurts. And Anna... Anna, one of the few siblings he loved, he would never see again. And she left here hating him.

Notification done, he just turns off the feed with no additional comment.]

Comments

[Video]

[somethingspecial]

[She can't -- quite -- grasp the words of what she wants to say. She wants to scream at him that he has to be wrong, and why isn't he crying, and why doesn't he care enough, and Anna isn't here anymore, and one very crucial chunk of Rachel's family in Adstringendum is now gone. And should she come back, if she comes back, she won't recognize her. Or love her like she did when she was here. Or watch over her like she did.]

What is she going home to?

[It's sudden, and almost faint, as if she doesn't want to know. Because Rachel may be naive, but she certainly isn't stupid. The angels are skirting around something. She can see it by the reactions.

And Rachel rocks back and forth slightly, wrapping her arms around herself, before she answers her own question, in that same faint tone.]

She's not going to be okay.

[Video]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

No.



Of all the angels here, I'm the only one still alive at home.

[Video]

[somethingspecial]

[She opens her mouth to snap at him some more -- but at Castiel's next piece, she falls quiet, and she stares at him, tears in her eyes.

-- she wishes she could sing. That would make all of this better -- or, at least, it would help Rachel. She could properly express herself. The pain and the anguish -- or help Castiel understand how badly her heart aches for him, and for Anna, and for Raphael, and for all of the angels -- and their world, their world, their horrific world that Rachel wants so badly to help but can't. Because she's just some kid from Ohio who can sing and dance, not God.

-- and God can't even do anything about it.

And suddenly, Rachel is angry again, but it dies abruptly, and Rachel whispers:]

I'm so sorry.

[Video]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

I knew her very well, more so than most of my siblings. If you have things you wish to know but can no longer ask her, I may be capable of answering.

[Video] 1/2

[somethingspecial]

[It's a kind answer -- and a kind offer. But it only cements that Anna is gone. She can't quite grasp that -- and the fact that she can't just go see Anna, or call her, or talk to her, or hug her, or see her, quite possibly ever again -- and that she goes home to die -- that much is too much.

She manages a quick nod, but her throat bobs, and she blindly grasps at her PCD to shut it off. She needs to cry. Dance. Hit something. Do something to work out all of this emotion and she can't sing it out. Not this time.]

[Text]

[somethingspecial]

[But hours later, Castiel should receive a text.]

I would like very much if you could meet me at the casino as soon as you can. I will be there until the sun goes down.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Rachel?

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

[She's sitting at the piano, but she isn't playing. She also has a large ice pack on top of her left leg and Evita has her head on Rachel's right knee. The dog is never quite far behind whenever Rachel works up the nerve to go out by herself. When she hears her name, Rachel looks up, startled, but when she realizes it's only Castiel, the girl is a little relieved.]

Hey --

[She pats the ice pack.]

Doing a high kick without stretching is apparently a stupid idea.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Is it a serious injury?

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

[Castiel earns a lick of his palm in response to being pet. Evita is a grateful dog.

Rachel makes something of a face.]

I pulled a muscle. It's my own fault. I can't -- really sing yet, at least, not -- the way I want to. I'm not allowed.

[She pauses, for a moment, as Castiel might not understand the significance, and plunges forward to continue.]

-- singing is how I deal with this place.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Will it be long before you can attempt to sing again?

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

No one will give me an exact date.

[She trails her fingers across the piano keys with a frown, a nameless tune.]

Which I suppose they can't. I can sing, but I can't -- sing. Which is far more satisfying than singing some airy song, I want to sing Don't Cry For Me Argentina or Don't Rain On My Parade or something equally epic, but I don't want my voice to give out halfway through the song and ruin it.

[None of this actually matters, of course, and this isn't what Rachel wanted to talk to Castiel about, but it's a lot better than discussing Anna.]

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

No one may have one.



You can do other things until you recover.

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

I have done every Sudoku puzzle I've been given and read every book I have. Twice.

[She frowns slightly to herself as she presses out the opening notes to You and I.]

A Tale Of Two Cities is exciting the first time around. Not so much the second.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

There is this instrument.

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

[She smiles a little bit, at his playing, and she lets him do whatever he pleases.]

Do you know who Lady Gaga is?

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

No.

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

She's the person who wrote that song. She's quite the inventive musician. I was Lady Gaga here for last Halloween. Her disco ball dress from her Poker Face performance in Glastonbury of 2009.

[Rachel frowns at the piano.]

I don't know what I should be this Halloween.

[And another pause before she looks up at him.]

Do you think Raphael would smite me if I decided to be an angel?

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

Because you are who you are, likely you will be fine.

Anyone else might be risking their life.

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

[That's something of a weird and unexpected response. What was that supposed to be? Was she a favorite or something? That's an odd thought -- and something that hasn't really happened to her before.]

I... talked to Raphael, about Anna. And how she was my friend. Raphael told me that she has never had a friend before.

[It's a horrifically sad thought, to Rachel. Even she has friends -- or does now. And she dwells on that, for a moment, before she looks up at Castiel, and abruptly changes the subject.]

You should be an angel with me.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

She likely would smite me if I did.

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

I wouldn't let her do that to you.

[So there. Because Rachel apparently has that power. But that statement brings up another question, and she frowns at him, uncertain on whether or not she wants to ask. If Anna were here, she would ask in a heartbeat, but she isn't. And Castiel had told her that she could ask any questions that she wanted, so -- ]

Why do all of you not like each other? Your family.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

We don't all dislike each other. Some of us have stronger bonds than others.



But many of us are family in name only. I had never spoken to any of the archangels until only recently. We are essentially strangers, and as in any group of individuals, some clash.

[Offline]

[somethingspecial]

That's horrible.

[It's unusually melancholic and Rachel's voice is quiet.]

I've always wanted a lot of siblings. I don't have any.

[Offline]

[wingsandwill.livejournal.com]

My friends are family as much if not more than any of my siblings have been.